I had sinned a sin, and I was going about my day.
When I become aware of sin, I often close my heart to God rather than open it to him. When it’s the hundredth time and we both know it’s not the last, I go about my day. I’d rather bury my feelings and soldier on than acknowledge and confess my guilt, my lack of control.
In the course of my day, I was working and listening to music. A Taizé song came on. Songs from the Taizé community are often profound bits of Scripture sung meditatively, and this one was repeating “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” As I heard those words, I felt their beauty and simplicity, and I felt ashamed. What purity of heart is required to sing a song like that? I couldn’t sing.
When I couldn’t sing, there I was, caught feeling like a sinner again!
Yet before I could run away, the Lord met me. I remembered something important about the words and their setting. The one who spoke those words in Scripture had just claimed to deserve his own crucifixion. These aren’t the words of a pious, everything’s-under-control sort of man.
Stripped naked before the world, covered in blood, gasping for air, already smelling of death, he openly confesses his guilt and opens his heart to God. If he can say, Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom, when found in sin and shame, I can too.
I want to have his purity of heart, to seek the favor of God even in my darkest moments. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner, and remember me when you come into your kingdom.
Ashes, indeed 